At a gathering in Belfast on 28 September, members of the Catholic marriage service Accord NI (pictured above) gathered to reflect on Accord’s Synodal Pathway journey to address challenges facing the future of its marriage preparation service; in terms of Accord’s engagement with families as they enjoy life together; and, regarding accompanying one or both spouses during their relationship difficulties.
This Synodal reflection in Belfast took account of the universal 2016 Synod on Marriage in Rome, which resulted in the publication of Pope Francis’ Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, on the Joy of Love in the Family; and, the Catechumenate for Married Life Guidelines (2022) and its implications for the local Church.
The gathering, facilitated by Jim Deeds, afforded an opportunity for Accord members to listen to those who have unique insights into the pastoral needs of couples preparing for Catholic marriage as they settle into permanent and committed life together, as well as of those who face the challenge of fundamental disappointment in their relationship.
Chairman of the board of Accord NI, Archbishop Eamon Martin of Armagh, led this second Synodal Reflection which looked at Accord’s experience so far and its future direction on the Synodal Pathway. The Accord board, counsellors and marriage education facilitators and staff, were joined by a number of groups also working in this field: Catholic Mothers Ireland, Retrouvaille, Couples for Christ, Teams of Our Lady, Engaged/Marriage Encounter, RCIA, Catholic Schools Trustee Service, Clogher Don Oige and a number of clergy from various dioceses.
The gathering heard that it is an unconditional imperative for our Church to provide pastoral support for marriage through preparation for the Sacrament, as well as marriage enrichment and care for those who face disappointment in their life together. The Catholic Church supports marriage not least because the Church believes that intimate relationships, which are permanent and exclusive, are the crucible in which human love and desire can be forged closely to an appreciation of the divine unconditional self-giving. Those in attendance heard that the challenge for Catholics is to discern how best this pastoral support can be provided into the future by priests, pastoral councils, Accord (NI) and other lay ministries, education bodies and youth organisations.
The gathering heard from invited guests on the work they are involved in and all the wisdom gathered in the room. During the structured ‘Conversations in the Spirit’, participants were asked to actively listen to each other, reflect and discern on the following questions:
- How can we work together to strengthen our care, support and formation for couples preparing for sacramental marriage? and,
- How can we continue this care, support and formation for married couples in the local faith community?
Following on from this, the ‘Widening the Tent’ session identified key initiatives and opportunities that have emerged and discussed practical steps to implement these initiatives.
Separately, in Derry on 30 September, Accord celebrated 50 years of its service to marriages, relationships and family. Bishop Donal McKeown of Derry celebrated Mass in Saint Eugene’s Cathedral for all past and present members of Accord in the Derry Diocese.
Accord, formerly the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council, was opened in Derry in September 1974 by the late Bishop Edward Daly. Over the past 50 years, Accord has recruited men and women in the area to train as ‘Marriage Education Facilitators’ and as ‘Counsellors’. Over this period countless couples, from Derry and beyond, have availed of marriage education services and counselling in the Derry Centre. Accord volunteers have generously contributed in a very real way to the wellbeing and stability of families over these decades.
Bishop Mc Keown remarked, “From years of experience of working with couples and building on the concept of education prevention and early intervention, Accord believes that marriage preparation has a positive and constructive effect on couples who are making the most important commitment of their lives. Accord helpfully offers couples ‘timeout’ to look at their relationship, the impact of their family of origin and what this can bring – often unawares – into their relationship. Couples who avail of the Accord Marriage Preparation Programme have the opportunity to look at how they communicate and learn vital skills for dealing with conflict. All relationships require nurturing.”
Accord chairperson, Margaret Murphy said, “Accord’s counselling service contributes in a positive way to the happiness and wellbeing of many children, often significantly, when their parents seek help to resolve their relationship difficulties. This is even more critical for children living in situations of domestic violence and abuse. The benefit of happier and more united parents contributing to the wellbeing, security and happiness of children is pivotal and cannot be over-estimated.”
Accord’s counselling service is based on need rather than an ability to pay and is open to all regardless of faith, denomination or none. If you are preparing for marriage or experiencing difficulties in your marriage or relationship, please contact Accord NI at www.accordni.com or across the North on (028)71362475, and by email: [email protected]
ENDS
